Dr. Gross,
How often should I change my bed sheets?
-Pardon my Grossness
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Dear Pardon my Grossness,
A person’s bedsheet changing schedule really depends on their activities and whilst in the bed. For example, someone who bathes before going to bed each night and has zero sexual activity (masturbation counts) should change their sheets once per month. There is very little reason to fix what isn’t broken. The fact of the matter, however, is that everyone is gross. If you don’t brush your teeth or shower before hitting the hay each night, you may want to do a load of bedsheet laundry once per week (perhaps while simulating an always important season of NHL10), especially if you bring home some Irish skank in that time frame. If you do any of these activities but less frequently, washing your sheets once every 2-3 weeks should suffice. Anything longer than that, invest in a bottle of Febreze.
Grossly yours,
Dr. Gross
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send all gross questions to imgross.org@gmail.com
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