Tiger Woods is officially divorced. The settlement reportedly gives Elin $100 million.
Okay Tiger. No one is judging you anymore. They know you aren’t the boy scout we once thought you were. Remember when you were winning a lot? I do. I don’t think it is a coincidence that your dominance was directly proportional to your dominance of your hoes. Give it up. Get back to the grind.
Go to Vegas with MJ. Shit, MJ gave his wife $168 million. He’s fine. Get private rooms with hookers, porn stars, and cocktails waitresses. Promise them shit. Tell them they are the one. Send them sexts of your dong. Do whatever you did before.
Embrace you gross scumbagness, get out there, own that vag, and you’ll keep winning championships. period.
“Tell them they are the one?” You really are a scumbag, Phelps.
He gave them what they wanted. Tiger, you the man. Now go kick these punk ass kids on the course. Their long hair and friuty colors. Damn, boy, get after them!