The Black Eyed Peas are everywhere, and I wish they would disappear.

That is putting it lightly. I wish they would cease to exist and it would become a crime punishable by flogging just to own or play a BEP song. Their pointless genre-crossing ditties are played on every FM radio station, and are being used as cut-ins on the AM sports stations I listen to.  They have become the ultimate sellouts, and they must be stopped.

Most people don’t know that they were once a Fergie-less underground hip-hop group that actually had some talent.  In 2001 they apparently sold their soul to the devil and joined forces with Stacy Ferguson.  At first glance, from far away, she may appear to be a smoking hottie, but when you get closer, she looks like she was beaten about the face and neck with a sock full of wet doorknobs.  I hope that Josh Duhamel owns stock in a brown paper bag company, or I don’t know how he does what he does.

I have started spreading rumors that Fergie is actually a 50 year old man with a pedophillic past.  I realize that our society is too forgiving and this would probably lead to an increase in popularity as we commend her for fighting through her issues.

What I need is a few suggestions from the masses on what kind of event would need to happen to keep the Peas from making my ears bleed.

Here is a pic, but I warn you, you may lose you appetite.

posted by: Hoffy