How much pussy does Papa John get?

While watching TV with my girlfriend, a Papa John’s commercial came on, and my girlfriend mentioned to me how good looking she thought Papa John (John Schnatter) was…

My first reaction to what my girlfriend said was, “Are you fucking kidding me?’

But then I thought about it for a minute, and I concluded that Papa John probably pulls mad tail and just runs through bitches. Here are the reasons why:

1 He is good looking. Tall, dark, and handsome.

2 He has a shit ton of money (always good for swooning vagina).

3 He sinks a halfcourt basketball shot in one of his more recent TV commercials (so we know we are dealing with some degree of athletic ability).

4 You get all the free Papa John’s pizza you want. (Extra garlic dipping sauce please).

5 And you know he seals the deal with chicks when he gets to use the pick up line, “You wanna come back to my place and call me Big Papa?

Good for you Papa John, Good for you. Keep stackin’ up bitch