Sexting, Cybering, and Chatroulette- Foreplay in he 21st Century?

Hey you with the blackberry, I know at least half of your BBM contacts are actually just random males/females you talk to when you’re drunk and bored of porn. But wouldn’t we ALL be lying if we said we didn’t have something remotely similar?

Whether its iChat, Skype, Facebook Chat, AIM, or…Chatroulette, I guess, we all have some random “friend” who exists somewhere in the world that we talk to when we uh, need someone to share our sexual fantasies with. What I’ve found though, especially recently, is that these relationships are becoming more and more common while more conventional, regular, “I’m drunk and at a party and so are you so let’s fuck” relationships are slowly dying. Why is this? I mean, personally, I’d rather actually be WITH a person than staring at their face (dick) on Videochat imagining things, but why is it that we stick to this medium of sexual interactions so often now?!

Well, today in Music History, after I made up a joke in my head (One composer turns to the other. “I need to fix this song.” The other replies, “Why?” “Because its BAROQUE!” Baroom-chich) I thought about this and realized there are several types of this relationship. Let’s break it down.

SEXTING “FRIEND” RELATIONSHIP 1 – THE ALMOST ACTUAL HOOK UP. For some reason, you and this person wanted to hook up but it never happened, and for whatever other reason, you’re now separated. This is common during college with friends from home, or friends who have been kicked out of the college you’re currently at. These relationships are usually more powerful than the rest since there was some sort of sexual chemistry to begin with, and you might actually have something to look forward to when you’re reunited. The one problem with these is that because it becomes so based on internet-flirtation, that when you actually are together, nothing actually goes down, or if it does, it is WAY too quick. So beware.

SEXTING “FRIEND” RELATIONSHIP 2 – THE EX. This is pretty self-explanatory. Think Carrie & Big’s phone-sex during that episode when she has to “throw away” the ex for the sake of Berger. You had a lot of sex, probably don’t want to any more, but your imagination’s a lot more vivid when you have something to look back on.

SEXTING “FRIEND” RELATIONSHIP 3 – SOMEONE YOU MET ONCE AT A PARTY AND TEXT WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK AND THEY’RE INTO IT. This can fall into the category of the Relationship Number 1, but this one’s usually funnier because you actually BARELY know each other other than the fact that he liked your tits and you liked that he’s a musician aka dubstep producer.
SEXTING “FRIEND” RELATIONSHIP 4 – SOMEONE YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE. Meaning, you know this person, probably see them around frequently, and barely speak when you do…but when its odd hours of the night you two can’t help but talk dirty via iChat. You probably have several pictures of each other’s body parts saved on each other’s computers with names like, “*YourName*’sTits10.jpeg” and may have hooked up a few times, but usually don’t actually end up hooking up. You get knowing looks from their group of friends, and vice versa, but its kind of funny and grossly addicting. And sometimes, you sext to the point of sex. You get each other SO riled up that you show up at one of your places’, fuck, then leave. You can avoid role play entirely!

SEXTING “FRIEND” RELATIONSHIP 5 – THE RANDOM CHATROULETTE/OMEGLE PERSON. This also is self-explanatory, and is more common on Chatroulette because you can actually see how attractive the person is. This usually happens because you were both pleasantly surprised by the fact that you’re talking to a relatively normal and not hideous person on such a deranged website ad one thing led to another. Whatever. Boring. But, strangely popular. I guess its the anonymity thing. Pussies. (Note: beware. Omegle/Chatroulette can be HIGHLY addicting. I’ve heard cases of Omegle addictions getting so bad that the Omeglite slowly learns Omegle patterns…ie. lots of Swedes post 4am, South Americans from 5-8…I mean what?)

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Now, most of SFR’s (Sexting friend relationships) are due to physical separation, but some as SFR 4 proves, aren’t at all. Its just that sometimes the idea of something is better than it actually is. And THIS is where I am confused. Why would you waste several hours of your life on VideoChat half- naked when you could actually be physically having sex? But then again, why would you waste several hours of your life on a website like Facebook poking people/commenting/stalking someone’s albums when you could just socialize in real life? Its the same phenomenon as online shopping – you can do it from the comfort of your own home/dorm-room when your roommate’s asleep. Not to mention, you CAN adjust the lighting so you look way more attractive on the screen than you really do in person. Or quickly google the definition of a word they said that you don’t know, or quickly download an album of a band that they love that is now “one of your favs.” …..

And this is where I worry for modern day society, people! If more and more people fall into the trap of online sex, is the whole world just going to buy those gross fake vagina things and/or vibrators and sext all the time?! No. NO!

I mean, there are cons. For one, auto-text? Anyone ever think of that? RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?! Screenshots, yo.

Well, I don’t know. What you do with your BBM/Facebook Chat is up to you. You know its funny. I sit here complaining about technology and how its ruining my sex life on a BLOG. Fuucccckk shit.

I guess I should work on my “How To Be a Polite Sexter” post now.

C U ON CHATROULETTE

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Posted by: Tequila Mockingbird, NY (random girl we met on Chatroulette)
http://onceuponahandle.blogspot.com