Voltaire is Pissed at Lincoln Park

When I walk the streets of my neighborhood I can only think of how disappointed Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Voltaire would be at the residents. People, there is dog shit everywhere.  And according to the social contract that these gentlemen dedicated their lives to explaining, you should be cleaning up after your animal.  Whether you are a 22 year-old trixie with a toy terrier or a yuppies wife who rescued a dog to have moral superiority over your social equals, please clean up the shit. I’m tired to stepping in crap on my way to Subway while I’m too busy thinking about the time I got jerked off on the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier to pay attention to where I’m walking.