It’s that time of year again. St. Patty’s Day is right around the corner and that means one thing and one thing only—Shamrock Shakes. Ah, yes, less than a week left to enjoy your beloved cool-green-mint-flavored treat that will celebrate its 40th Anniversary this season, if you dare.
Shamrock Shakes were once the only beverage of Irish origin that remained unmarred by the Protestant-Catholic conflict. Arthur Guinness was an anti-Catholic of English-Protestant descent who forbade the employment of Catholics at St. James Brewery. “Black-and-Tans” bear the name given to British mercenaries hired to stamp out the infamous Irish Republic Army (IRA) and the name “Car Bomb” speaks for itself. Then there’s representation from your Irish Whiskeys in your typical pub; Silas drinking Bushmills in the Protestant corner and Finbar downing Jameson in that of the Catholics. Lucky for today’s Irish-Americans Ronald McDonald doesn’t attend mass…right?
Wrong! Ronald McDonald reportedly nailed his own version of the 95 theses to the front of McDonald’s Corporate Headquarters in Oak Brook, IL this morning. Among his 95 grievances, Ronald denounced the Catholic Church’s affiliation with the Burger King and Subway franchises, formally accuses Pope Benedict XVI of accepting indulgences from Catholics who ate Chicken McNuggets instead of Filet-O-Fishes on Fridays, and declares the Shamrock Shake an official Irish-Protestant drink, as well as his allegiance for the Crown of England. McDonald’s locations stateside and across the pond are now battlegrounds for Irish mobs to wage war and settle the score once and for all. Old-fashioned, Grimace Steel-Caged Death Matches and other acts of hooliganism continue to “Shake” things up among the lads and lasses with ties to the Emerald Isle.
posted by: Joseph
0 Responses
Stay in touch with the conversation, subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.