Hey honey? Sweetheart? Where are you hiding? Oh there you are honey…are you on Zappos.com, Facebook, or just checking Perez Hilton? Oh, my mistake sorry to interrupt! I didn’t know you were looking over my, I mean our credit card statement, but this will just take a quick second. So yeah hun, have you seen the keys to my…ooh, sorry again, I mean OUR new Dodge Charger? Last I remember I left them in the pair of Dockers that I wore last night when we went out to that new Sushi restaurant that your girlfriends recommended for the 3rd time this week.
Ohh, that’s right! I am so forgetful sometimes. That was my mistake; I did take them off and leave them in a crumpled heap when you demanded I strip and call you mistress for the remainder of the evening. I plum forgot to fold them up nicely and place them in the drawer the way you’ve always instructed. How careless of me. Sure, I would prefer to hang them up, but I completely understand why I’m not allowed an inch of closet space even if it’s just for my dress pants. Well I greatly appreciate the time and effort that it took for you to pick my pants up off the floor, fold them, and place them in the drawer. Oh, wait, you mean you even went to the trouble to take them to the dry cleaners on your way to yoga class this morning? Wow, what a lifesaver! I wore those rugged chinos for a full 2 hours last night? That was extremely thoughtful of you. I really appreciate it, babe.
So, now I know where the pants are, but do you have the foggiest idea where you might’ve placed our keys to the Dodge Charger that were in those awesome pair of Dockers. Fantastic! You put them on the desk in the kitchen next to the jar with my testicles in them! I forgot about those. Perfect. Thanks sweetheart! I’ll be right back with tonight’s dinner from that Latin-Asian fusion place you love so much. See you in a jiff!
Dodge Charger “Man’s Last Stand”
posted by: Joseph
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