CNN recently came out with a list in lieu of the Tiger Woods scandal to educate the public on the serious disease that is sex addiction. CNN medical correspondent Elizabeth Cohen came up with a 5 point checklist to tell if someone is a sex addict. CEO Scott has demanded that all imgross officers take the test for company health and insurance reasons.
1. You lie to women to get them to have sex with you
2. Sex consumes you
3. You continue sexual habits at the risk of divorce, arrest, or death.
4. You have an intense interest in pornography
5. You want to stop and you can’t
As I put myself to the sex addict test I realized that just last night I told a woman I was the nephew of John Shuster to try and get her to come back to my apartment to give me oral sex. She said no so I drove my sports car through 3 red lights at nearly 95 miles per hour to get home to watch videos on “youjizz.” Then I was two hours late to my job as a bouncer at a bar because I was watching an episode of wheel of fortune in slow motion that I had DVR’ed because I was convinced at some point Vanna White’s nipple was going to pop out of her dress. It never happened…. I’m pretty sure everybody does those things though
this picture is so strikingly creepy, but that ass is pretty nice. I aint no sex addict.