Senator Robert Byrd went to the roof of the imgross.org offices Monday and threatened to end it all when he saw the announcement that Nastia Liukin was dating Evan Lysacek. “I’ll do it! Everybody stay the fuck back!” Byrd was heard screaming at the top of his lungs. CEO Scott tried to talk him down for several hours and even played a rendition of Third Eye Blind’s “Jumper” as he saw in the movie “Yes Man” but to no avail. “I had to go ice fishing with some possible Norwegian investors. I couldn’t stay any longer,” the CEO said after leaving. Finally, in hour six, Myles Kennefick was able to talk Byrd down via text when he appealed to his reason, telling him that jumping off a three story building likely wouldn’t kill him. All is well that ends well.
god dammit
Hilarious.
i bet his ass is perfectly shaved at all times.
if she’s into a dude that walks around bridges with a figure skating gold medal around his neck and holds it up for pictures, he can have her.