What exactly is Sean Paul’s Temperature?

We shall now examine a point of interest that I have been pondering for some time:  what exactly, is Sean Paul’s temperature that he references his (aptly named) song Temperature?

(note: I had to use this video for copyright reasons, but the official video has infinitely more boobies)

The most telling lyric from this song is first heard at the :21 mark “I got the right temperature for shelter you from the storm”.  From this lyric, we can begin to extract certain key facts.

1. Sean Paul’s temperature must emanate from an area away from his body -- even the most cursory considerations of this problem will lead one to realize that the extreme heat needed to shelter someone from a storm would be damaging to that person if the heat source were too close.

2. Sean Paul’s temperature zone must be controlled by Sean Paul in terms of shape -- again, a perfectly spheroid area of heat generation would set ablaze any thing underfoot of Sean Paul, so I imagine he most often uses an umbrella-type dome covering for his storm defenses (the official video alludes to this -- see the 1:19 mark).

As a side note, we can rule out using extreme cold as a type of temperature control for storm-shelter.  Although this would have been the most practical solution (imagine a solid covering of crystal, brought about by near absolute zero conditions in the molecules above), Sean Paul specifically states that he “wanna be keepin’ you warm” (the :18 mark is the first time we hear this assertion).

Now moving on to the heart of the matter -- what temperature would be needed to vaporize water, and what distance would it need to be from Sean Paul and his ward to also provide warmth?

The first part first.  1/15th of  gram seems a good estimate of an average raindrop size, water vaporizes at 540 degrees (C) and our raindrops will be falling at the standard rate of 9.81m per second per second.

So given that information, I began to work on the thickness of the Sean Paul temperature barrier, and tried to find a good compromise between thickness and temperature (if it was hot enough, it could be very thin, but if it was thick enough, it could be closer to the 540 degree mark (or even colder, since technically you could just raise the water temperature to 100 degrees, and have it evaporate, but that seems highly impractical).

On further thought, however, I realized that since Sean Paul has the ability to instantaneously manipulate temperature (for reasons discussed above), I’m sure he could maintain a steady field of 540 degrees (F) in that area, and immediately vaporize the water (or snow) that came into his area of influence.

The second part of this issue, the distance this field of influence would need to be from Sean Paul to both vaporize the offending particles AND provide warmth to his dependent, I will turn over to those readers with a more scientific mind than my own.  I look forward to gathering more information on this problem and hope that we could one day have our work jointly published (e.g. Sean Paul and Climate Change: Temperatures, Distances, and the Costs and Benefits of His Powers. FDP et al, 2010).

thanks cliff, freedonkeyposter.com

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