Do the lyrics to “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha promote irresponsibility in young women?

proper lounge-
As you may or may not know, I’ve been house/dog sitting the past five days and that means I’ve had free access to a car for that same amount of time. That means I’ve been listening to a lot of Chicago radio. One song that has invariably been played probably more than any other during that time span is “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha. I’m going to post the video but I highly, highly (highly) recommend that you do not watch it.

Okay, hopefully you took my advice and didn’t watch it because it’s easily one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard.

This song goes beyond just terrible music (which good lord it is). But at first listen–if you aren’t paying attention–you might think it’s just about having fun out on the town. And to an extent that is absolutely what the song is about. But the point is, you have to be responsible when you go out. Ke$ha’s idea of responsibility is not one I think young girls should emulate.

So let’s explore the lyrics in greater detail, Dora-style.

LYRIC: Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy.

ANALYSIS: First, on a positive note, you woke up. Most girls who lead the lifestyle that you have grown accustomed to don’t have such luxuries as surviving and not being in a coma. So good for you.

The problem comes into play when you don’t realize that you are a 22-year-old white girl and that you feel like a 40-year-old African American man. Can you describe this feeling? Does you feel like you have a sore back from being so old? Do you feel like you are at greater risk for sickel cell anemia? Do you feel like you could Make a Band? This just isn’t a normal feeling to have and it really causes me to cast doubt on your current mental state.

LYRIC: Hey, what up, girl?

ANALYSIS: That’s just the real P. Diddy. Ignore him.

LYRIC: Grab my glasses, I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit this city / Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack.

ANALYSIS: This has to be the worst oral hygiene practice that one can possibly make. Zero out of ten dentists would recommend brushing your teeth with whiskey. Why are you bothering with this step anyway? Why not just take a shot of Jack Daniels and call it a day? Why are we bringing a brush into the equation?

LYRIC: ‘Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back

ANALYSIS: Ever?

LYRIC: I’m talking pedicure on our toes, toes / Trying on all our clothes, clothes / Boys blowing up our phones, phones / Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs / Pulling up to the parties / Trying to get a little bit tipsy

ANALYSIS: I’m just going to ignore the first 85% of that stanza because the lyric “I’m talking pedicure on our toes, toes” should be repeated as a form of torture to prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. But the last part I find puzzling. You say that you are only trying to get a little bit tipsy. But people like my mom get tipsy when they have a glass of wine on Thanksgiving. You were brushing your teeth with Jack Daniels and claiming that you have no intention of going home this evening. Tipsy people don’t do those things. People who belong on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew do those things.

Also, you seem to be experiencing the occasional robot voice. You might want to get that checked out.

LYRIC: Don’t stop, make it pop

ANALYSIS: Is that a veiled reference to losing your virginity? Because the mere fact that you are taking it so lightly tells me you’re not ready.

LYRIC: DJ, blow my speakers up

ANALYSIS: First of all, speakers don’t grow on trees, missy. They cost money. Second of all, blowing them up is extremely dangerous and could be a fire hazard at best. At worst we are talking about a full-fledged Great White night club accident here.

LYRIC: Tonight, I’mma fight / ‘Til we see the sunlight

ANALYSIS: Why so violent, Ke$ha? Is it trouble at home? Does mommy not approve of your “style.” Does daddy remark about what happened to his “little girl.” Is it all that stuff Uncle Todd made you do that one time at the lakehouse? Fighting is never the answer. Next time when you get really angry and want to hit somebody, stop, take a breath, and count to ten. Maybe count the seconds as they tick (tik) by on a clock.

LYRIC: Tick tock on the clock

ANALYSIS: There you go.

LYRIC: But the party don’t stop, no

ANALYSIS: That’s what a lot of young women have said during their youth. Then they turn 35 and they lose their looks. The party stops preeeeetty quickly after that.

LYRIC: Ain’t got a care in world, but got plenty of beer

ANALYSIS: *Sigh*

LYRIC: Ain’t got no money in my pocket, but I’m already here

ANALYSIS: I honestly don’t want to know what kind of “payments” you are going to make at this “party” to “pay for” whatever it is you are going to “do.” But I’m sure the Pope doesn’t approve.

LYRIC: And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger / But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.

ANALYSIS: I guess I should respect the fact that you apparently don’t care what a guy looks like, but I’m also guessing it has nothing to do with your search for a man with strong moral character. And even so, Mick Jagger? Have you seen Mick Jagger lately? His face looks like an armadillo’s vagina. Observe:

That’s what you want? Again, this just makes me question your mental stability.

LYRIC: I’m talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk / Boys tryin’ to touch my junk, junk / Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

ANALYSIS: So you are being molested. And singing about it. Wonderful.

LYRIC: Now, now, we go until they kick us out, out / Or the police shut us down, down / Police shut us down, down / Po-po shut us

ANALYSIS: This is probably the party that most warrants police interference since the Communist Party.

LYRIC: Now, the party don’t start ’til I walk in

ANALYSIS: Well now you are just being self-involved. Well, I’ve had enough of your antics, young lady. Good day to you.

thanks proper lounge