response to carrie underwood’s “before he cheats”

im not exactly sure why carrie underwood’s music has resonated so much with girls in this country.  the revenge power ballad before he cheats seems to be an anthem for ex-girlfriends everywhere..  typical.  typical of women to project their problems on to a man in attempts to drag them down and even the score. let’s take a look at these lyrics.

Right now, he’s probably slow dancing with a
bleached-blonde tramp
And she’s probably getting frisky
Right now he’s probably buying her some Fruity little drink
‘Cause she can’t shoot whiskey
Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool-stick
Showing her how to shoot a combo
Oh and he don’t know…
no, he’s probably having some beers with his friends talking about how he wants it to work out with you, despite his friends telling him you are a psycho nut-bag.  for the record, girls shooting whiskey is normally is icing on the cake, not the cake.  keep searching for flaws in others, stupid.
That I dug my key into the side of his
Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats
wow, big fucking surprise.  this is certainly the girl i want to be with the rest of my life.  she thinks im shooting pool with another woman and she fucks up my car.  oh, my car was already fucked up from you dinging the passenger door with your shopping cart, starting the car when it was already running, breaking the rearview mirror trying to put on your makeup (which led to the loss of my high school graduation ’01 tassle), not to mention the burn holes in the seat from your fat girlfriends’ errant cigarette ashing.
Right now, she’s probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now, she’s probably saying “I’m drunk”
And he’s thinking that he’s gonna get lucky
Right now, he’s probably dabbing on
Three dollars worth of that bathroom polo
Oh and he don’t know… OH!
yeah, she is singing shania and saying shes drunk.  im sick of hearing about the “real” country music and how the grand ol opry isn’t what it used to be.  sometimes men want a fun girl that will sing a silly karaoke song, then give you a blowjob while watching sportscenter…both things you  staunchly refuse to do, let alone simultaneously.
That I dug my key into the side of his
Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats