Imgross writer Senator Robert Byrd is being held on felony weapon possession. The senile Senator tried to pass through O’Hare security late Monday night, with a crossbow duct taped to his back and a Medieval Battle Ax tucked under his waistband. The controversial new airport screening technology detected the contraband. Byrd released a statement:
“My privacy has been invaded. No one should ever know what I look like under these clothes except for my wife and Ted Kennedy. I have been carrying those two weapons on my person for the better part of 75 years and I will be damned if some fucking computer nerd takes them from me! Hear me!”
Imgross ceo scott was not available to be reached for comment as he is away on his 17th annual “January Fun Trip” to his lavish French Alps Chateau.
please before you you judge me, take note of the size of my groin