fun with postsecret

-you’re dating the wrong girl.

-i don’t blame you.  she would probably want you to spend it on jewelry or vacations.

-good call idiot, she hasn’t told you she gave your friend a blowjob at that wake you all went to.

-there’s no way she will ever find out i won $5,000 because i am sleuthy and she is the sort of dumb cunt that would never get off facebook long enough to read postsecret.

-you should have told her you won. she might have ran down to the cvs pharmacy and picked up a bottle of cheap champagne, warming oil, and a raincoat for which she would use to fuck the everloving bejesus out of you on camera, put on redtube for the world to see, thereby removing any doubt that she is the coolest, most spontaneous person you have ever met, prompting you to immediately propose to her and start your exciting journey together as an unbreakable union.  but instead you probably were just thinking about how much beer you and your buddies could drink while playing your new KISS pinbabll machine.