Steak and BJ Day

I’m just now learning the detail of the growing trend that couples celebrate “Steak and BJ Day” on March 14 (one month after Valentine’s Day).  Let me get this straight:  We go out for a decent meal and then she sucks my dick?   I thought that was the entire premise of dating.  You feed a woman something expensive and then she performs various sex acts on you.  That’s just the way I was raised.  I mean it’s basically the same as Valentine’s Day except I get a hummer instead of getting laid.  Don’t get me wrong getting a knobber is much more relaxing and effortless than fucking but, let’s face it, the end game is the same.  As men, if we are getting our own holiday, we should make women feel as uneasy as we do when we spend our entire paycheck on some flowers that will die and some bullshit jewelry only she cares about.  I’m proposing that we change “Steak and BJ Day” to “Hot Tacos and Anal Sex Day” and then we will know how much she really loves you.

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