imgross.org staffers have been combing the streets since late thursday night in hopes of finding escaped fugitive robert maday, who ducked state investigator custody yesterday afternoon. imgross ceo scott has assembled a fugitive task force. “we feel as though we can catch this bastard. with our wit and stick-to-it-ive-ness, this guy will be locked up just in time for dinner” says the ceo.
the imgross search team consists of 5 or so unpaid interns. “actually we didn’t sign up for this at all” says one intern. “so far the only thing i have done for this internship is wash ceo scott’s sheets after he pisses the bed. this has happened like 5 times this month. now they want us to go out and find an armed fugitive? they didnt have enough money to provide us with tasers or mase so instead we were issued burlap sacks filled with empty beer bottles. also, scott threatened to take away our college credit if we didn’t help the search efforts.”
ceo scott is confidant that the staffers will find the fugitive, ” they better find him, if not, i got about 37 other intern applications on my desk itching to get in here. this place is a privilege not a right”. senior writer senator robert byrd was unable for comment due to his mid morning nap.
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send intern resumes to imgross.org@gmail.com
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