Last week I wrote about things I could do while unemployed. Predictably, I abandoned that list and have spent the past 2 weeks drinking myself stupid. Unless you consider asking nonsensical text messages to confuse people. The other day I texted roughly 150 random people from my contacts “where is dutch” to see how they responded. Amidst the “?,” “who is this” and “you’re retarded” texts, I did get a couple keepers.
“The Ed O’Neill movie?”
“If you mean holland, try northern Europe. U’ll see windmills. Can’t miss it”
“Where are dutch people from? Like the netherlands and shit”
“Don’t know you or dutch”*
“Holland? Am I understanding your question accurately?”
“I think you sent that to the wrong person, cowboy 
”
”Dutch is a people/language from the netherlands. Not to be confused with dutch ovens”
“I wish I knew”
*from “Hurricane” Peter McNeeley (the guy who fought Tyson in Tyson’s big comeback fight)
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