More Things I Would Do For A Night With Megan Fox

1. Legally change my last name to Hitler
2. Though I have a thick, lustrous head of hair, I’d shave in male pattern baldness for the rest of my life. I’m talking full horseshoe.
3. Fly a Red Bull Flutag off of Niagara Falls.
4. Let Sebastian Janakowski kick me in the nuts.
5. Read “Little Women”
6. Go to church every Sunday. (And not snicker at all)
7. Wear skinny jeans
8. Battle the Rankor
9. Attempt to swim the English Channel
10. Legally change my name to Dildo Q. Fuckface

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