Great Moments in Drunk History

1. Bastille Day
A bunch of Frenchmen pounded a ton of vino and got up the courage to storm the Bastille Fortress on July 14, 1789. It symbolizes both the birth of a republic and the power of an alcohol fueled mob.
2. David Wells’ Perfect Game
Wells claimed to be “half-drunk” and suffering from a “skull-rattling” hangover while accomplishing the rarest feat in baseball. I gotta hand it to the guy because it may be the single most important sports accomplishment while shitfaced.
3. Pamela and Tommy Lee Sex Tape
This pioneering video in the sex tape genre has open the door of seeing people we could never bone getting boned. God bless alcohol.
4. Boston Tea Party
Similar to Bastille Day, a bunch of drunken patriots are sitting around a tavern in Boston and one says, “Fuck this tea tax!” and another says, “I know where they got some tea on a boat. We should dress up like injuns and toss that shit in the harbor!” Yet another man says, “Fuck yeah!” The rest, as they say, is history.
5. Assassination of Abraham Lincoln
John Wilkes Booth had to have been hammered when he shot the president then decided that his best escape route was to jump thirty feet off the balcony onto the stage, breaking his leg. All this while yelling “Sic semper tyrranus!”
6. The Entire Careers of Mickey Mantle and Babe Ruth
Hitting a total of 1250 home runs between the two of them is legendary. The fact that most of them were hit while blitzed or hung over is what make them immortal.
7. Nero Burning Rome to the Ground While Playing the Fiddle
The greatest empire the world has ever seen was burned to the ground to the sound of the loaded emperors fiddle.
8. Joe Namath Tries to Kiss Suzy Kolber
Broadway Joe was half a bottle of Johnny Walker Black deep, decided to get in front of a camera and subsequently decided to make a pass at Suzy Kolber.
9. Columbus Comes Up With New Route to Asia
One night while sitting around drinking with a friend and discussing Marco Polo, Columbus calls Polo a pussy and says he could think of a better way to get to Asia. “So do it then!” said his friend. This drunken boast is the reason we are sitting here today.
10. David Hasselhoff Attempts to Eat a Hamburger
The video speaks for itself.

have anymore great drunk moments in history? write them in the comment area now.

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