submission from user name: Not Happy (7.12.09)
“I live on Sheffield Ave in Chicago and your site has littered every lamp post within a 4 block area with picture of an old man and your website address. The problem is that it’s impossible to cleanly remove your adds because of the sticky material on the back. Rest assured, I’ve pulled down every one of your adds that I’ve found. I’ve also notified the Chicago police department and they’re currently driving down Sheffied avenue to investigate. My suggestion to you is three fold. First, find a new way to advertise. Second, get a life. Third, move out of your parents basement.”
response from alec, the gross bearded face of imgross.org:
you are fucking dumb. let me get that out of the way right now. if you want to feel smart stop reading this paragraph immediately. please. i have lived/worked in this neighborhood for the better part of 3 years. in this time frame i have done more good than harm. whether it is walking around picking up garbage or adequately tipping local neighborhood establishments, even in unorthodox situations. this intersection loves me. i give the homeless money when you are in 7-11 buying cabernet. every person who walks their dog in lincoln park has probably seen me, and im not talking about the signs. oh no! some signs are up!?!? call the police! pay no attention to the drunk idiots walking back from the cubs game throwing sandwich wrappers on the ground or the depaul students breaking car windows. its nice that you tore down street art too, but believe me, we were counting on dumb cunts like you to be offended by our movement. we’ve hedged our bets appropriately. take solace in knowing whatever signs you destroyed, there are another 200 floating around this city at any given time. you spelled “ads” wrong by the way. i love that you informing the police is a supposed to be some form of a veiled threat. if you think the police are a silent protector you need to take out your ipod while in class. you’re getting fucked over in so many different ways by government right now and you choose to nitpick over a humor website? why don’t you and your goatee wearing boyfriend kill yourselves right now, before he poisons your ovum and you have to go buy a “daddy’s little stinker” t-shirt for your stupid kid. as for the picture of the old man….thats MY face. im 26. im gross. but believe it or not my penis has been inside some pretty interesting vagina over the last 36 months. not because i am overtly good looking or charismatic, but mostly because i am probably the most self aware person have ever known. im gross. and ive not tried to hide it. its a very liberating way of thinking. but you wouldn’t know. you’ve never really looked at yourself in a fucking mirror and you’re too self-absorbed to think anything you do is wrong. remove you’re head from your fucking ass and start seeing the world. do something, critic. be one of the movers and the shakers and you wont end up some gnarled hag talking about charm bracelets in 30 years. take a pottery class and leave me alone. ive put up with a lot in my life and im not about to waste another minute on some cowardly anonymous naysayer. fuck. you.
we encourage all readers to comment on this article. what do you think of this “not happy” user hate mail? we would like input on the details of this person. male or female? age? what do they look like? tell us!
response from user: bobby chase
I agree with Alec. Yes, Alec is gross. No one can agrue this. But who ever wrote that letter is clearly a bitter person who does not like their lot in their own life. Don’t blame Alec because he is trying to have a little entrepreneurial spirit in an enviornment that is seen as the worst economic climate since the great depression. It is probably people like you who morgaged themselves up the ass, has 30k in credit card debt and takes advantage of good, hard working and creative americans by getting an unemployment check every other week becasue you are either too fucking lazy to get off your ass and get a job or you clearly over value yourself to take a job that may be beneath you right now. Either way, don’t be a hater because you don’t have the moxy to step out and try to make something out of nothing like this gross guy Alec did with this gross website. Do you go around ripping down flyers everywhere? what a jerk off. Find a better way to to deal with your daddy issues than to rip on a couple guys trying to survive and lighten life up a bit with a comedic website. As my gross friend Alec says…FUCK. YOU!!!
haha, “not happy” suggests to get a life! you:
1. spent time removing the posters, which were admittedly time consuming to do so
2. took time to go to the site, register for it(which helps them) only to leave a cunty comment.
3. called the police who are now “investigating”, which is just what they tell whiny fucks so they will shut up.
4. then had thought he was trumping anyone by saying “get a life”
hahah what a douche
admin (dbranx)
i often go to coffee shops when i am administrating the site. savor the flavor on sheffield avenue to be exact. i realize that the person who sent that hate mail note could be right next to me. it seems as though tho it could be the balding man 4 four away studying his 7 inch thick law book. it could be the knocked up chick reading the us weekly or it could the the guy to my left not doing anything but drinking coffee and thinking. i hope we ruined their day
It’s definitely a she. She’s married, but her husband doesn’t love her because she’s a materialistic bitch. So to make him love her, she lets him treat her like shit and he of course does. She hates black people for sure, and to mask it (cause if she was seen as racist she wouldn’t move up at her financial/consulting job) she says she can’t stand hip-hop and moms that yell at their kids on the train. She probably calls the police on several occasions, including but not limited to: somebody listening to loud music, public consumption of alcohol by the kids next door, the Subway employee getting her order wrong, somebody walking on her lawn, and making someone else responsible for her low GRE score.
And if it’s a guy then…wow…I wouldn’t even know what to say.
Now that’s blog justice.
Be careful boys. Anytime I get an ultimatum that is delivered via “three fold” I take it seriously. Written on the way to the toilet.
Holy shit your logo is you? I thought that was Scott Peterson on death row. Seriously! You are fucking gross sir how dare you? I begrudgingly commend your grossness.
So many NBA Jam references come to mind; such as BOOM SHAKALAKA or HE’S ON FIRE!
ox…nice.
This person is a loser. I’m still not sure of the sex of this hate mail person, …I think it’s because I’m hoping it’s a male, and I can eventually meet him, intimidate him/kick the shit out of him, and then have him call the police on me.
very funny. i laughed really hard at all this. you boys always make me smile.
I think your organization needs an Under-secretary of Go Fuck Yourself.