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the afterhours

after living alone for eleven months and eight days in a studio apartment i have come to appreciate the afterhours party. being able to have friends over for a drink or two or twenty is a concept that many people do, but not well. there is nothing worse than going to someones place and end up watching three idiots play guitar hero aerosmith with nothing to drink except for a half bottle of smirnoff and only a 2 liter of flat diet cola as a mixer. the breakdown:

the place: must be able to hold 10-20 people comfortably. free from the risk of pesky neighbors or police knocking on the door. nothing ruins a good afterhours than having to kick people out or tell them to keep it down. 2-3 couches plus a few folding chairs or a recliner should do the trick. after all a night of heavy drinking is usually exhausting and its nice to have a place to sit periodically and the added benefit of being able to give the obligatory “you can crash on the couch if you want” speech.

the drinks: beer is a staple. bottles/cans doesnt matter. someone once told me “you can never complain about the brand of a free beer, only its temperature”. so make sure your fridge is cold and well stocked. if you are lucky enough to have girls come back to the place it is recommended to have a secondary option. a bottle of vodka and several mixers will be sufficient. and ice. you can never have enough ice.

the atmosphere: rarely will you have the privilege of a live dj catering to your guests so it is advantageous to put on a playlist or some cds that will keep everyone in a good mood and willing to keep the party going. remember, the drunker people are the more important they think their opinion matters and the more they think they have a superior musical taste*. if the host is anal and will not let you smoke freely inside the house it is not tragic, as long as they provide an alternative (garage/balcony/kitchen) for the smoker. after all, i subscribe to the theory that the coolest part of the party is where the smokers are. they (usually) have more interesting things to say, are generally more laid back, and overall better looking**. if there is a seperate designated smoking area, it also allows people to have asides where they can discuss personal problems, ideas, or seek wisdom from others in a more private situation than the general populous of the party, all within the constraints of 1 cigarettes time. also, video games/drinking games are welcome, so long as they are not the focal point of attention. the goal is to keep everyone entertained and involved so they will keep having a good time and not feel awkward.

the bonus: people hanging out through the twilight hours normally reveal their personal needs easily and a good host can normally provide these things for their guests. the people still standing at the end of the night will usually require sex, food, drugs*** or sleep and any way you can facilitate these needs will further your ability to host a good afterhours.