Ever since the death of Michael Jackson, we here at imgross.org have spent considerable time debating just who is the rightful heir to the King of Gross throne. The ovbious names have been thrown around– Tom Arnold, John Madden, Boy George, Louie Anderson, the Shamwow guy, yada yada yada. I’m here today to introduce you to someone you probably haven’t heard of. A man so gross I had to wait to post this out of respect for those who read this blog while eating breakfast. His name is Brian Peppers. He’s not mainstream. He hasn’t been on MTV, he he’s never appeared in a reality show, and he hasn’t been featured on perez hilton. In fact, by the looks of it it doesn’t seem like he’s seen the light of day in years. And for good reason. He’s fuckin gross.
So how does someone who probably spends most of his time in a dungeon come to be known to the internets? The truth is, not a whole lot is known about Brian Peppers. We know two things about him though, and they are to gross what rockin tits and promiscuous behavior are to hot: what he looks like (picture above), and that in 1998 he was sentenced to 5 years probation having been charged with “gross sexual imposition,” which is defined as “unwilling sexual contact with someone who is not one’s spouse.” Appearance: check. Behavior: check. But is it enough?
Brian Peppers is gross, there’s no question about it, but is it enough to give him the throne? I’m afraid not. Kings past have had long, extensive bodies of work, and right now, Brian’s resume is a little lacking. In fact, Peppers hasn’t been heard from in a long time. Ultimately, while Brian Peppers is the absolute last person I would ever want to be stuck in an elevator with, he’s just too much of an unknown for the throne. And so the search goes on. Stay tuned…
pope
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