DePaul’s season is finally over. Thank you God. The Blue Demons finished the season 8-23, 1-17 Big East. They have won a combined 1 regular season Big East game in the past two season.
In honor of Depaul being the worst. Here are 10 things that suck just as bad as DePaul basketball.
1. Cheese Nips
2. That guyin Road Trip
3. The number 26
4. Having a pimple inside your nose.
5. Not having enough peanut butter to make a sandwich but enough peanut butter to not throw the jar away.
6. Nick Swisher
7. Switzerland
8. When the guy in front of you is driving too slow, and the light turns yellow and he gets across, but you dont.
9. When your dentist has a nose whistle.
10. Earthquakes
I ventured out into society for perhaps the first time in a week from my pauper’s apartment today. the first stop: Bed Bath & Beyond. as i tried to quickly and quietly buy a “midsummers night” candle, a soft-spoken gentleman asked me if i was finding everything ok. when i looked up to politely tell him to leave me alone, i was startled to notice the gentleman wearing an eyepatch. while i would love to get help finding things from a person wearing an eyepatch, i had already gotten what i had came for so i denied his help. the rest of the time was spent driving around in my antique car, smoking cigarettes and thinking about what tragic events led to a person with an eyepatch having to take a job so degrading. this person could have been discharged from themilitary, fired from his modeling job because of his bell’s palsy, an out of work assassin, unintentionally landlocked, or a former merchant marine married to Dr. Kayla Brady Johnson. nobody is above working any job in this economy. stay gross, dude-with-eyepatch at Bed Bath & Beyond. its only up-up-up from here. rock that eyepatch and next time you can help me find the Ped Egg i so desperately need.
Sad news as Corey Haim, one half of “the Coreys” and star of classics like “The Lost Boys,” “License to Drive” and “Lucas,” died early this morning. imgross.org has confirmed with the Los Angeles coroner’s office that the actor was pronounced dead at 2:15am at Providence St. Joseph Hospital. No further details were available, pending an autopsy and investigation.
TMZ reports a drug overdose is the suspected cause of death.
This overdose has been 20 years in the making. Corey Feldman is on the clock. I’ll give him two weeks.
Captain EO, a 3D show featuring Michael Jackson as the title character, will be returning to Disneyland after a 13 year hiatus. “Our goal is to scare the shit out of these kids. They have so much fun here all day long, sometimes you just gotta keep them in check,” a Disney rep said. “Plus, the indoor theater gives parents a chance to cool off in the air-conditioning.”
So it will be interesting to see what will win out: Mom and dad’s tolerance of the oppressive heat or exposing their children to a child molester leading a a group of alien soldiers.
Hey honey? Sweetheart? Where are you hiding? Oh there you are honey…are you on Zappos.com, Facebook, or just checking Perez Hilton? Oh, my mistake sorry to interrupt! I didn’t know you were looking over my, I mean our credit card statement, but this will just take a quick second. So yeah hun, have you seen the keys to my…ooh, sorry again, I mean OUR new Dodge Charger? Last I remember I left them in the pair of Dockers that I wore last night when we went out to that new Sushi restaurant that your girlfriends recommended for the 3rd time this week.
Ohh, that’s right! I am so forgetful sometimes. That was my mistake; I did take them off and leave them in a crumpled heap when you demanded I strip and call you mistress for the remainder of the evening. I plum forgot to fold them up nicely and place them in the drawer the way you’ve always instructed. How careless of me. Sure, I would prefer to hang them up, but I completely understand why I’m not allowed an inch of closet space even if it’s just for my dress pants. Well I greatly appreciate the time and effort that it took for you to pick my pants up off the floor, fold them, and place them in the drawer. Oh, wait, you mean you even went to the trouble to take them to the dry cleaners on your way to yoga class this morning? Wow, what a lifesaver! I wore those rugged chinos for a full 2 hours last night? That was extremely thoughtful of you. I really appreciate it, babe.
So, now I know where the pants are, but do you have the foggiest idea where you might’ve placed our keys to the Dodge Charger that were in those awesome pair of Dockers. Fantastic! You put them on the desk in the kitchen next to the jar with my testicles in them! I forgot about those. Perfect. Thanks sweetheart! I’ll be right back with tonight’s dinner from that Latin-Asian fusion place you love so much. See you in a jiff!
I don’t really care for Jared Leto. He definitely fits into the saying “All musicians want to be actors, and all actors want to be musicians”. That’s all well and good, Eddie Murphy gave us a sweet track, Bruce Willis played some mean blues harp, and steven seagal is actually quite talented. But what really bugs me about Jared Leto is that he truly takes himself seriously.
Tell me what this description sounds like: He reveals his emotional depth in his songwriting ability and occasional — and seemingly accidental — profound thoughts.
That’s a character description of Jordan Catalano, the role Leto played on “My So-Called Life”. Sound like anyone we know in real life?
Bah. What an egomaniac. What a buffoon. This guy actually said that one of his scenes in the movie “Phone Booth” had to be taken out because it was just too funny and it would cause the audience to lose their edge.
This reminds me of a conversation myself, and mega-gross alec had concerning Jamie Foxx. Now there’s an entertainer. He can act (awesome in Ray and Collateral), he’s ridiculously funny (see stand-up special “I might need security) and he’s pumping out hit after hit on the top 40. But, as he demonstrated by including a clubbing Ron Howard in his “Blame it on the Alcohol video, he isn’t trying to validate himself constantly.
Try humor and humility next time Jared, not samurais and indulgent dream sequences. Pussy.
Baltic Sea : Congratulations to the Baltic Sea. This is the first time a body of water has reached the number 1 slot on a Yahoo! trending list. It is truly a pioneer and has knocked down the barriers for future and up and coming water ways to be exposed to the world.
Gabourey Sidibe : The Oscar Nominee is be on the upcoming NBC show, The Big C. Judging by the title of the series, she seems to be a perfect fit.
Pringles : As far as I am conerned, Pringles should always be a trending topic even when they are not being recalled for Salmonella concerns.
Tassos Papadopoulos: Three months after it was stolen, the corpse of Cyprus’ former president was found and reburied today. I dont think that we have enough grave robbers these days.
Toyota Prius: A Toyota Prius sped out of control on a California freeway.
Joe Nathan: Possibly out for the the season with elbow problems, one less person to think about for my March 22 fantasy draft.
Trade Sanctions: The Brazilian government has announced trade sanctions against a variety of American goods in retaliation for illegal US subsidies to cotton farmers. This is the lamest of today’s Trending topics. So, here is a link to a hot chick.
Notorious B.I.G.: 13 years ago today, Biggie was gunned down in LA. RIP Christopher Wallace.
Ohio State University: An Ohio State University janitor who received a bad job evaluation shot two supervisors in a campus maintenance building. imgross CEO Scott gives everyone at imgross bad job evaluations, I think about killing him everyday.
Michelle Obama: First Lady Michelle Obama donated the dazzling ball gown she wore for her husband’s presidential inauguration to the Smithsonian. Boring, here’s another hot chick
Get Ready! It’s college spring break. The next few weeks are for prime Facebook stalking. During this time, hot chicks will be putting up their “Cabo 2010!” or “Getting crazy at Senor Frogs!” photo albums. As long as you overlook all of the total douche bags that accompany these girls, the pictures allow for hours of creepy internet lurking.
Happy lurking! Enjoy it, because prime Facebook stalking like this doesn’t back around until Halloween.
I’m not interested in commenting on Ben Roethlisberger being accused of sexual assault for the second time, but rather where these assaults allegedly occurred. Lake Tahoe and rural Georgia? The guy has a $100+ Million contract, why the fuck would he be partying in Milledgeville, Georgia? Why the fuck was he staying in the Harrah’s in Lake Tahoe? I’m gonna have to say it’s just as embarrassing to be accused of sexual assault as it is to be super rich and drinking at some shit hole off the interstate. Ben, maybe if you loosened up your wallet the girls would give up the pussy willingly.
